Happy Easter!

Easter blessings to you from our family! May the Risen Lord give us hope this season as we remember and celebrate that HE can overcome anything in our lives holding us back from the joy and peace He wants us to experience!** 

**My husband took a walk with the dog last night and wished a neighbor man a 'happy Easter.' The man grunted and said 'just another day.' It hurts my heart to think of those hurting on holidays-- the poor, the lonely, the singles (I remember, girls!), the childless...and honestly, each one of us has our brokenness that surfaces during the holidays. Even now, the hubby and I argue, or family gatherings aren't perfect, etc. etc. But let's all remember no matter what we're struggling with, that Easter is never just 'another day.' It is truly the reason for our hope-- that Christ died to give us new and eternal life, and that He overcame the grave and every darkness we may ever experience. Seek the Light this Easter season. The darkness cannot overcome it. Lots of love to each of you. Thanks for reading and being my friend.

Our Triduum Plans

It's here! The Triduum has begun! (For Catholics, the Triduum is the three days of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday. We remember and celebrate the Last Supper and the institution of the Eucharist, Jesus' carrying the cross and His death for us on it, and then the burial and the waiting, the "in between" time, of Holy Saturday.)

Though my Holy Week started rather shakily, I'm excited about the Triduum and I've seen God's grace at work through this week. I was able to experience the sacrament of Confession on Tuesday and felt so much grace and mercy from the Lord's forgiveness. It has helped me clear my mind and heart to focus on the upcoming liturgy.

It's a blessing to be home this year, whereas previous years I've had to work on these days and it was more of a rush to get to a Mass or service. I'm thankful to be able to have the church events be the focal point of my days this year, although I know it will be a challenge to stay focused once I'm there and little G is moving all around! ;)

Holy Thursday: today I'm trying to clean the house, make a couple pot pie casseroles, one to eat today and one to freeze. Since we'll be with family on Easter, I know it would be nice to come home to a clean house and leftovers in the refrigerator. Plus I'm just in a spring cleaning kind of mood. Our neighborhood is blooming with cherry trees and flowers and I'm all about wiping the windows so we can see it better! This evening we'll head to our parish's Holy Thursday Mass. Today is such a rich day of layers-- the Passover of the Old Testament, the Last Supper of the New Testament, and the Mass and Eucharist celebration of today. The instructions to roast the lamb and eat it...the breaking of the bread to become the Body of the Lamb, "This is My Body, given up for you"...and now receiving the Eucharist as we do indeed remember and "do this in memory" of Him. Thank you, Jesus, for this incredible gift.

Good Friday: my husband has the day off, which will be so nice. I plan to spend the morning catching up on the rest of the laundry and cleaning, and then hopefully spend the afternoon hours in the solemn quiet and reflection warranted by the day. I wish our communities still observed the noon to three closings of businesses and schools and such. But we'll try to shut off our media and music and have our own solemn remembrance at home. Our parish has a service at noon or the neighboring Catholic church has one at 2pm, depending on the baby's nap schedule. ;) In past years, I've watched the Passion of the Christ but I'm not sure I'll be able to sit through a whole movie this year.

Holy Saturday: I love Holy Saturday. I read once that we tend to spend a lot of our lives in "Holy Saturdays." We don't daily have the tragedies of Good Friday nor the rejoicing of the Resurrection and Easter, but rather we live a lot of our lives in between those two extremes...and often waiting and hoping for something in the midst of the ordinary. I love that. I'll probably spend the day preparing for Easter. I'd like to put out my spring and Easter decorations, including my bird feeder and wind chimes outside and decorating my seasonal chalkboard inside. I'm making carrot cake for our Easter dessert (dairy free! Yippee!) and might make some deviled eggs (my husband hates them but my mother-in-law loves them...). I wish we could make it to the Easter Vigil Mass to top off the Tridduum because there's just nothing like that Mass. The new Catholics coming in to the Church, all the extra Scripture readings, the candles and the music!!! But alas, our baby is at that too-old-yet-too-young stage for it and I know the Lord understands. I do look forward to worshiping at the Easter morning Mass (and on a less pious note, G and I have very closely matching dresses, even though I found hers secondhand recently and have had mine for years. Very excited to snap some mother/daughter pics!). Someday when G is older, I want to make Resurrection cookies with her-- have you seen those? They are the ones like meringue cookies, where each ingredient stands for something in the Passion of Christ, then you put them in the oven ("tomb") and seal it overnight, then on Easter morning you wake up and they're not only ready to eat, but they're hollow or "empty" inside, just like the tomb after Jesus rose! :)

If you're still with me after all this rambling, you're a true friend! haha! What are your Triduum or Easter plans this year?

When You Feel Unholy [During Holy Week]

Thanks to Sweet Little Ones for my Lenten printable!

It seems to happen every year around this time. The holiest week of the year is here and I'm feeling quite the opposite.

The good stuff first: it's been an overall good Lent with fasting from social media (minus the times I cheated...). I've kept in tune with liturgical living more than usual and have had simple decorations even when the first day of Spring presented itself. I've held off putting out the bird feeder, wind chimes, fresh flowers, and such things simply to make Easter even more celebratory. My days have been quieter and more contemplative for the most part.

But.

I have gotten into a nasty habit of negativity. I'm sure I can think of lots of excuses (postpartum hormones? PCOS? lack of affirmation? long winter?), but no real reasons for it. The sad truth is I have simply focused more on the difficulties in this current season and vocation than the blessings of it. I sigh and eye roll and grumble way more than I want to admit. I shuffle around with a slave mentality instead of a servant-heart. Even my husband has noticed. (Or maybe if I'm being honest, I'm even moreso that way around him so he knows "how hard" my days are...). It's embarrassing and I'm ashamed of it.

Even God has gently corrected me a few times. I've learned from our book club last year to zero in when God speaks twice-- usually a verse or phrase or topic that comes up more than once in a personal way. In the span of a few hours, I had TWO Bible verses/themes repeated on the radio and in books I was reading: To "rejoice in the Lord always" and "when you seek Me with all your heart, I will be found by you." I knew God was reminding me He is the reason for joy and the only way we can have steadfast, constant joy. He was also encouraging me to seek Him in my days and to find Him in my family, but not halfheartedly.

I improved for awhile but soon fell back into my negative slump. Which is where you find me today, on the Monday of Holy Week. Feeling very unholy.

But you know what? Maybe it's not a bad thing to feel this way at the beginning of Holy Week. Maybe that's exactly where I need to be on this Monday before the Triduum. Because this is the starting place of remembering how much I need a Savior. This is the posture of repentance where I can receive mercy and grace. This is where I can focus on Christ on the Cross and learn better how to carry my own cross and to lay down my life in this season. And this is where I prepare for joy, true joy, the joy that comes from knowing that yes, I am unholy, but there is a Holy One who died for me and rose from the grave. My unholiness doesn't faze him. He is at work in me, always working on a resurrection for the dead, sinful places within me.

If you are feeling in a dark place this Monday, take heart! Enter into each moment of this week knowing that Christ too walked through darkness so that we would know redemption. Walk with Him carrying the cross and sit at His feet while He hangs there with love for you, just as you are. Know that He is stronger than any sin or struggle in your life. In the end, the Son will rise, the Light will shine forth, and that is reason for us to rejoice!

The Donuts

Since a couple of you commented about the donuts, I thought I'd share the recipe! It's so, so easy, I'm almost tempted to pretend it's this complicated, secret recipe.

But we'll keep it real. It's a cake mix!! The only difference is you use a few less eggs. My favorite thing about the recipe is that you can choose different cake mix flavors. My goal is to let our kids/family choose flavors for holidays and birthdays-- like maybe baby G will want cherry chip or another child would choose funfetti. And then there's always red velvet for Christmas or spice cake for the Fall. The possibilities are endless!

Here's the deets:

1 cake mix
1/4 cup oil
1 cup of water
1 egg

Mix and pour into sprayed donut pans (I got mine from Bed, Bath, and Beyond and they are nonstick Wilton brand). Bake at 400 for around 10 minutes. They are fairly cake-y and I do want to try my hand at a from-scratch recipe sometime to see if I can make them a little more dense, but my hubby thought these were amazing and raved about them. So as long as he's happy. ;) For the frosting, I did a quick glaze with milk (almond milk in my case) and powdered sugar. You could also add a touch of butter or vanilla for additional flavor. For the chocolate frosting I did the glaze just mentioned but added melted chocolate chips. That frosting was heavenly, esp. when it hardened somewhat in the fridge. Don't forget the sprinkles on top!

The Freshness of the New Year

I love new years. I love the clean-slate, fresh-start, begin-again feeling of them. It's probably the recovering perfectionist in me...I like getting rid of the messiness and feeling like there's a chance I'll get it right this year. ;) But at the same time, I think the writer and the optimist in me also like new years...there's an exciting and hopeful anticipation of what might be written on its pages...of the ways I'll grow and change and learn.

This year I did NOT make any specific resolutions, which is a big change for me! I did, however, choose a word and a saint (more on those below). Instead of a specific resolution, I have these lofty and vague (and never-ending?) goals for organizing life, haha. Mainly: organizing my home and organizing my time.

For our home, we've only lived her less than two years but we also were both single living on our own for several years before marriage, so we've collected quite a bit that just isn't necessary in our home. I really want to clean out and minimize and donate a LOT so that our daily lives are less cluttered and materialistic.

For my time, I'm all about the idea of routines and schedules. I see the necessity of them with having a baby because otherwise I would feel like all I get done in a day is dinner and diapers (which is nothing to sneeze at, my hubby reminds me ;) ). Yet I also see the need to have LOOSE schedules and routines so that I'm not constantly trying to abide by a schedule that just doesn't fit this season. I'm learning to just watch the rhythm of my days right now and utilize certain chunks of time for work and purposely rest/read/pray during others.

As far as my word for the year, I really wasn't planning on choosing one, but on the last day of 2016 my devotional encouraged me to choose a word...or rather to pray over it as I read the scriptures for the day. The Gospel was one of my favorites-- John chapter 1-- and the word grace reached out to me and I happily received it.

I want to live like Mary-- full of grace-- in my daily life. I want to look for the grace God sends each day, even in the mundane. I want to be graceful and gracious to others. Grace means gift and that's what each moment of my life holds...grace and gift from God if I have to eyes to see it and the heart to treasure it.

Last but not least, I enjoy the Saints Name Generator from Jen Fulwiler and this year's saint for me was Saint Bernadette! I know her general story but I look forward to learning more about her and the ways God may inspire me from her life, as well as to her prayerful intercession to help me become the woman God wants me to be this year!

What are your goals or resolutions for the year? Did you choose a word or a saint?

Tuesday Talk #60: A Case of the Cozies

What a great weekend. Neither one of us had commitments outside our home, so we enjoyed a cozy weekend together as the inches of snow fell outside!

On Friday, my brother-in-law visited and brought us a gorgeous shelf from my sister-in-law that she didn't want anymore. It's an loooong oak shelf with pegs made by the Amish. It looks so home-y in our living room! P said we should hang Christmas stockings on it. :)

Saturday morning we hosted a brunch for a group of young missionaries visiting for the year. They are in our diocese to speak to schools and youth groups and young adults about the beauty of the virtue of chastity, self-worth and dignity, and living and loving as God intended. It was so great to get to know them better and hear their heart-thoughts. So blessed to have them here.

Saturday evening we settled in for a Christmas movie and popcorn! I've totally surrendered the sleep struggle with Baby G and we are all so much more peaceful! So she simply slept in my arms while the hubby and I enjoyed a long-desired movie night together! We'll figure out the crib in a few months. ;)

On Sunday, the snow continued to fall so beautifully and we went to Mass for the Third Sunday of Advent. Baby G and I dressed in our liturgical pink. :) Afterwards, our Sunday consisted of Christmas and Advent reading and mugs of hot chocolate. I started reading The Reed of God, by Caryll Houselander, which was recommended Advent reading by several people. So far it's been very insightful and is giving me lots of food for thought as I slow down and ponder this Advent season.

Today I'm simply easing into the week with mountains of snow outside and mountains of laundry inside...and hopefully finishing writing our Christmas cards today to send out.

Here are some pics just for fun:

My tree salvaged from inside an old barn...not too shabby once she's all dressed up!

Nothing like these evening snuggles with the Christmas tree lit and the twinkling lights outside.

We like to dress in the liturgy colors for Mass :)

Thanks to my parents and aunt for sharing their old decorations with us for the outdoors!

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Tuesday Talk #40: Happy (Belated) Independence Day!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend with family and friends!! Our weekend was quieter than usual for the holiday as we normally travel to either family for a get together and fireworks, but different circumstances found us home sweet home in our little town for most of the weekend. We both missed being with our families, but we enjoyed exploring the local activities. We had (per my husband) the "best bbq ever" at the local fireworks festival, invited friends over for a cookout, visited my sister and her adorable family who were 'camping' in their backyard for the weekend, and enjoyed another cookout with a sweet friend and her family. Now that I look back, I guess it wasn't that quiet of a weekend!!

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Tuesday Talk #35: Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day from our family to yours! Hope you had a wonderful weekend with friends and family, and that you paused to remember those past and present who have fought for our freedom and our country!

P.S. I'm the one that looks like a watermelon ;)

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Tuesday Talk #12: Merry Christmas!

It's a holiday break for me once again! Though this Advent season and Christmas preparation have been decidedly different and slower than most years (more on that later), there are still a few loose ends to tie this week before we celebrate the birth of Jesus! A few gifts to wrap, a few parties to attend, and a few recipes to make (Christmas Crunch, anyone?).

I pray in the midst of these last-minute preparations for all of us, we can find some time to be still. To reflect. To pray. To enjoy the greatest gift. May your last week of Advent be full of blessings and joy!

And a very merry Christmas from our house to yours!

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Beth - Our Pretty Little Girls ~ Michelle - Grammie Time
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Tuesday Talk # 9: Holiday

I'm taking advantage of the holiday weekend and letting it squeeze into this week. No post today -- I'm still on Thanksgiving break. (wink, wink)

My house is a mess despite the fact we've been gone most of the past week. We visited my husband's family on one side of the state over Thanksgiving and my family on the other side of the state over the weekend.

We were home on short night in between the trips but it was enough for me to beg gently encourage my husband to bring every single box of Christmas decor up from the basement. And it is now sprawled all over our home, an odd mix of old fall decor like turkeys and leaves and pumpkin candles...and the new Christmas decor of greenery and colored lights and balsam fir candles.

Note to self: unpack from travels before unpacking Christmas boxes.

Got to learn to live in the mess!

How was your holiday? We're officially into the season of Advent, how do you use this time to prepare Him room?

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The hosts of Tuesday Talk

Beth - Our Pretty Little Girls ~ Michelle - Grammie Time
Keri - Living In This Season  ~ Christina - Waltzing In Beauty
Lauren - Simply Elliott~  Becky - BYBMG
Jess and Katie - Sweet Little Ones ~ Whitney - Polka Dotty Place
Laura - Life Is Beautiful ~ Elizabeth - All Kinds Of Things
Sarah - Abiding In Grace ~ Stephanie - Wife Mommy Me
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Tuesday Talk #8: Thankful

Welcome to Turkey Talk! ...er...Tuesday Talk! Can you tell I'm excited for Thanksgiving?

What are your plans for the holiday? Are you trying out any fun new recipes? We'll be with my husband's family on the actual holiday and with my family over the weekend. I went super easy and boring with my contribution: mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I was in the mood for traditional and simple instead of trying out new recipes (with all the cooking and meal planning I've done lately, I think I just wanted a break!).

Despite my love for holidays and all things seasonal, I also realize this can be a difficult time of year for so many! Loss and grief (we lost our baby through miscarriage and my husband's dad this year), severed family relationships, infertility, being single, poverty-- these are realities that leave a heaviness in our hearts, especially with the constant holiday commercials of perfect families and materialism.

So how do we deal with "less-than-perfect" holidays?

Gratitude. We are blessed. All of us. So blessed. If you're reading this, you have access to a computer and are literate-- both immense blessings we so often take for granted! We are safe (pray for the Syrian refugees!). We are warm (pray for the homeless!). We are loved (pray for those who are lonely, that they might know the love of our Savior...perhaps through your heart and hands and words!).

I'm counting my blessings this year and my heart overflows. Here are a few of the things I'm thankful for this year:

My Marriage. What a gift the it was to receive the sacrament of Matrimony this year with P. We just celebrated our 6-month anniversary this past weekend and we both agree there's been so much joy in these six months!

Our Home. It's been an adventure to be first-time home buyers this year, but how special to be celebrating our first holidays as a married couple in this house. It has truly become home in such a short time.

My Job. It stretches me mentally and emotionally so often, but what a gift to get paid to do what I love, to have a job that's also my passion and ministry.

My Family and Friends. I love people. And both P. and I feel we have so many amazing people in our lives. People who have taught us unconditional love, steadfast faith, and the importance of humor!

Ovens. I couldn't bake without one! On that note, I'm thankful for cookies, too!

My Bible study group. Beautiful fellowship, digging deep into the hearts of the women of the Old Testament while sharing our own.

My Cell Phone. Despite my frequent "media fasts," I'm so thankful for phone calls with my mom and sister, and text messaging with my precious girlfriends!

Books. I can't get enough of them. May I never take for granted the availability of them through libraries, bookstores, and online...as well as the ability to read and learn!

Blogging. Sweet reader, you enrich my life. Thank you for encouraging me to write. Thank you for welcoming me into your home while you sip a cup of tea. Thank you for receiving my heartthoughts with such kindness and support-- as a true kindred spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving to each one of you!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His mercy endures forever!" -Psalm 107:1

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The hosts of Tuesday Talk

Beth - Our Pretty Little Girls ~ Michelle - Grammie Time
Keri - Living In This Season  ~ Christina - Waltzing In Beauty
Lauren - Simply Free ~  Becky - BYBMG
Jess and Katie - Sweet Little Ones ~ Whitney - Polka Dotty Place
Laura - Life Is Beautiful ~ Elizabeth - All Kinds Of Things
Sarah - Abiding In Grace ~ Stephanie - Wife Mommy Me
Emily - Morning Motivated Mom

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A Christmas Tour: Welcome to my home!

I've had some heavier-topic, reflective Advent posts lately so I decided it was time for a fun picture post! Ready to check out how I've decked my halls? Here we go...

A little reminder in the morning and night...O Come Let us Adore Him in the picture frame

Hot cocoa, anyone? I found a recipe for salted caramel hot chocolate as well as
dark chocolate with cinnamon...getting all sophisticated this year. ;)

My Advent wreath, created with the help of my mom :) I love real greenery!!!

Mmm...one of my favorite places to sip, pray, read...

This was to be one of my projects but alas...I couldn't find a shadow frame in my price range.
I want to trim the picture to 11x11 and then put a little straw in the bottom of a shadow frame for some added texture.
Next year. :)

My favorite spot this year.

Hand-me-down red bulbs from my mom added a new look this year.
I love the elegance of the red with the gold. And the little package underneath matches!
It's a decorative package that says "Joy." Love it.

Would you guess this picture is from an old Christmas card?? :)

A rustic touch to this end table. The snowman lantern fits a tea light inside, so adorable.

Going to try displaying Christmas cards this way...although I received a few more this week
so I'm afraid we're on to plan B!

I love decorating this chalkboard for each season!

Many of my decorations, including this one, are Pinterest inspired!
You can find the link to follow me to the right below my blog picture. :)

Nothing like nostalgia at Christmastime. It distracts me from pulling out goodies from the freezer,
which s a good thing. ;)

This garage-sale find always find its way into my kitchen each year!

A P. Graham Dunn print on my refrigerator. One of my favorite artists.

We can't forget the festive bathroom! It's pink and black decor
so I kept with that for Christmas. Pink lights and a black O Holy Night print.

Pinterest printable :)

I hope you enjoyed your virtual tour! Enjoy this last week of Advent!
The Word Made Flesh dwells among us.

Knowing the Savior

I'm in full week-before-Christmas mode, my friends. A little Christmas energizer bunny, let me tell you. In some ways I'm loving it because my schedule is so much lighter this year-- I'm able to do so many DIY things, which my heart just relishes. On the other hand, I have to be careful to stay focused (or re-focus!) on Christ. Ready for some realness? This morning, I spent my usual time in prayer with coffee mug in hand, talking to Jesus as I sipped my Nutcracker Sweet brew. Yet not once, not twice, but THREE times I found myself trailing off into Christmas gifts, recipes, and traveling. Shameful. Praying for the grace to delight the treats and traditions, but to cultivate a heart like Mary's-- always pondering the mystery of Christ.

Our Savior.

I'm sitting here looking at those two words again. Words I so often take for granted, this Jesus who is our God and Savior. But a conversation at work last week brought me back to the reality and gift of those two words...

I work for three amazing cardiologists. They are great doctors and great men. I enjoy a wonderful working relationship with them (and their accents are charming!). Dr M is close to my dad's age and enjoys teasing me mercilessly. We've also had some thought-provoking conversations about life and politics and religion.

So during a lull in the schedule last week, Dr M sought me out for some teasing and conversation. When I was getting married. How many kids I would have. Questions that for a Catholic, will inevitably lead to contraception vs. being open to life and God's will! It was such a graced conversation, friends! I shared my heart and faith...and he shared his. I was so grateful for the Holy Spirit's presence, giving me a calm heart and helpful words (not always what happens when I try to evangelize, you know!). But I was also saddened by the reality of our differences...the difference of life without Jesus as Savior.

For my dear Muslim doctor-friend, Jesus is merely a prophet. God is a master. A just God who requires obedience.

But for us, for Christians...Jesus is our Savior. God is our Father. A just God, yes, but also a God of mercy and forgives us when we fall. What a difference! What a gift to know God in this way.

This is Christmas! That God our Father sent His son to be our Savior. The story we 'all' know, right? Or do we all? This conversation reminded me that we don't all know the story of Christmas...or at least not everyone knows the God of Christmas. The One who became flesh and dwelt among us, so that we could touch Him, laugh with Him, watch Him cry, listen to His stories, and then see Him victoriously conquer death. A God who wants to be known in the most intimate ways...as Father, Friend, Lover.

Perhaps the challenge is for all of us, even me. To share this God, this story of Christmas, this gift with those around us. 

But also for us to go ever deeper into our relationship with Him...so that we not only know about Him, but we truly know Him.

Christmas Prayer Requests

In the joy and beauty of this season, we can sometimes forget that this season can be a real struggle for others (or perhaps for you this year). Infertility, death of a loved one, financial poverty, loneliness-- these painful realities can make it so difficult to celebrate when our world places such emphasis on parties and gifts and laughter.

Just this week, my heart has been impacted by three strong women and the suffering of their families at Christmas this year. In each of their stories, I see a reflection of the strongest woman I know--Mary, the Mother of God. She knows the difficulties surrounding Christmas, she who traveled to Bethlehem and gave birth to our Savior in a stable...and years later, knelt before the cross of her suffering Son, trusting without fully understanding God's plan.

Would you join me in praying for these women and their families?

For E., my dear friend being treated for a brain tumor this year. An MRI in January diagnosing it, a repeat scan in July after surgery only to find a new tumor had grown, and now in December a follow-up MRI after non-surgical treatment. This woman is one of the most hopeful, joyful women I know, with a trust in God that lights up her eyes even as she walks this road. We pray for good test results, and for her strength and hope in the midst of her treatment.

For B.'s family. Years ago, B. and her husband adopted two precious little girls. Having overcome cancer when they were young, it then returned in the past couple years. B. passed away a year ago this month, leaving her godly husband and two beautiful teenage daughters. I saw them at the cemetery at church yesterday, remembering the anniversary of her death and praying. I couldn't help but cry for their loss as I drove past praying for them. May God comfort her husband and her daughters as they grieve, and guide and bless them with renewed hope and joy in the future.

For L. and her son. Little J.T. is an adorable two-year-old who won a pro-life photo contest for Down Syndrome children. At a routine doctor visit less than a month ago, they discovered he has leukemia. He was admitted the same day and is receiving chemotherapy. We visited L. and little J.T. at the children's hospital last weekend, where they are staying until the first round of treatment is finished. J.T.'s siblings are praying he will be home for Christmas. We pray for healing and strength, endurance and trust for their family.

Thank you for lifting up these strong women and their families to the Lord. Know that if you are reading this and you are also struggling this holiday season, I am praying for you, too.

Presence

A few weeks ago I shared with you my struggle this Advent about the clutter in my stable. My soul-searching questions on what to do with the messiness of my life and heart this season.

I considered giving up Facebook or Pinterest. (umm...ok. I take that back. I didn't actually consider giving up Pinterest, not even for a brief moment.) I tried decreasing my cell phone use. I bought Scott Hahn's new book Joy to the World. (hashtag: favorite Catholic author.)

And those were good things to do and to give up.

But I ended up taking a different route this Advent...a different path to Bethlehem, perhaps.

I chose a word.

Just one word. My thoughts and goals and desires stripped down to one single word to simplify my season and focus.

Presence.

(Now since you are reading this instead of hearing it, I can't use the play on words that I did at an Advent presentation for my parish the other night about presents vs. presence. Just pretend and we'll move on.)

I want to be aware of God's presence in my life. In my day. Because that's Emmanuel, God with us. He really is with us every moment. He with us right now--you at your computer, me at mine...He's with us. We forget that, don't we? We're never alone. He is present. He is with us. He loves us. 
In our busy lives, how often do we pause and remember that God is with us? It's a gift. And I think if we paused more often this month to remember that truth, it would help guide the choices we make, the gifts we buy, the ways we fill our schedule and spend the time.

I also wanted the word Presence to remind me to live in the present moment. I so often am thinking about the future, whether it's planning homemade Christmas gifts, my wedding next May, or even what I can find to make for dinner tomorrow night. I miss out on the gift and grace of the here and now. I forget to be grateful. There's only ever enough grace to live the moment. God has the rest in His hands. I think we feel less rushed when we live one day, one moment at a time. Instead of worrying or planning for tomorrow, I'm committing to simply accepting the gift of this day and living it with gratitude.

Finally I want the word Presence to call me to be more fully present to others. Maybe that's the cashier at Walmart (because I hate shopping there this time of year, you guys; too many people and carts, and too. much. stuff.)...maybe God is calling me to make conversation with her because she just lost her mom and is dreading the holidays. Maybe it's the patient I had last Monday who was recovering from a stroke. Her mind was healthy and hard at work but there was a disconnect as she struggled and tearfully stuttered her words. Watching her and helping her made me slow down and be more fully present to her than I had realized I could be. Afterwards, I noticed my whole being was more at peace, because I had slowed down, lived in the moment, been fully present to her, and saw Jesus in her.

Choosing this word and reflecting on it this season hasn't changed my life, but it has changed moments. It hasn't given me a spotless, decluttered manger-heart for Jesus to enter, but it has helped me look for Him more in my day and make more room for Him in my life.

Today may you be aware of God's presence with you personally right now, His love for you, His desire for you to experience Him and his hope, peace, and joy this Advent. Be in this present moment. Let Him speak to your heart. He always speaks with love. And being filled with Him, may you find moments this season to be more fully present to the hurting and needy around us.

Happy Gaudete (Joyful!) Sunday, dear friends. Life doesn't have to be perfect to be joyful, and neither do the holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving

Hello, beautiful friends. I'm so thankful for you!

It's a blessed Thanksgiving day here. My heart overflows with gratitude. Mass with P. and my family, precious time cooking with P. and setting up the Christmas tree. On our way to my parents for celebrating with dinner and time together.

At Mass, Father T. reminded us that we can't stop at enjoying the day with family or celebrating with food and football even though those things are certainly blessings. (eh, football...that's negotiable.) This is a day for thanking the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Our Father in heaven who loves us so deeply and lavishes upon us His grace and mercy every day.

My holidays haven't always been picture-perfect like today feels. For five years in a row, I went through some type of breakup, including a broken engagement. I know what it's like to feel keenly the emotions of loneliness, disappointment, grief on a day like today. In the midst of my joy and thankfulness this year, my heart hurts for those struggling today. Those without food, without family, grieving the death of a family member, going solo to the get-together, those who do not know Jesus and His love for them. So I pray a special prayer for you today, that you will feel the presence of God with you. That you receive His outpouring of love, strength, comfort, and sufficient grace. And hope.

He has given us good things. And He has good things in store (Sirach 2:9)! He prepares our paths with love and care, and He walks each step beside us.

Let us give thanks together for this day, this moment, and the simplest of blessings contained in them.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear readers! 

A Little Bit O' Homesteading {my successful attempt at baking pumpkins and squash}

We had a Thanksgiving potluck at work last week and as most of the meal dishes already had cooks signed up for them, I decided to snazzy up our coffee in the morning by bringing Copycat Starbucks Pumpkin Scones.

But alas! The day I was to make them, I opened up the cupboard, dug through the, uh, perfectly organized cans of course...but no pumpkin was to be found. What's a girl to do? Call her sister, of course...who had no canned pumpkin either!

Desperate times call for desperate measures. She suggested sacrificing my Fall decorations. The prairie woman within was awakened.

So I solemnly took my cute little pie pumpkin near the candle and potpourri and brought it to the kitchen, adding a butternut squash for company.

Want to try your hand at making real pumpkin puree and butternut squash? Follow along...

Here are my cute little guys.

First, slice off the tops and bottoms.

Cut each in half so you can then see the seeds to scoop out.

For the butternut squash, you will want to cut the sides off like you would a pineapple.

Scoop out the seeds and pulpy stuff of each. Remember to save your pumpkin seeds for roasting!

I chopped the butternut squash in chunks but the pumpkin I left in fourths, with the outer skin on.

I baked them in a 350 degree oven for about 45 minutes. No oil on them or the pumpkin will not make a good puree.
This is how it looked when I removed it from the oven.

As you can tell, I will never be a food blogger. First, because my pictures are sadly inadequate. Secondly, because I forgot to take a picture at the very end!! I packaged the butternut squash chunks in a freezer bag and froze them until I decide to make a soup or pasta recipe with them. The pumpkin I mashed in a bowl until it resembled puree (a food processor would do the job really well if you have one!).

And there you have it. My fairly successful attempt at homemade pumpkin puree (with some tips on butternut squash just for fun, too).

Many thanks to the real Pioneer Woman for helpful hints along the way.

Happy Thanksgiving week, friends! Did you know I'm thankful for you?!