My Coffee Date

I glance at the clock as I hear her hungry little grunts and noises. I try to remember when I last got up to nurse but it's all blurring in my tired memory. So I get out of bed and hope that this will be a quick feeding and get both of us back to much-needed sleep.

Instead she is wide awake after her meal. My frustration melts when she smiles at me. And then she laughs. The first time. And I cry at the beauty of it.

She finally drifts back to sleep in my arms as I rock in my great-grandma's rocking chair. I put her back in her bed and glance at the clock again. The daily decision-- do I go back to bed or stay up? It's way too early to be up with this much lack of sleep...but I feel the Lord calling me.

I walk down the stairs, every muscle aching, even the ones in my face. It's as foggy outside as it feels in my brain. I put the coffee on and hear the comforting brew. I close my eyes to the mess all around me of wipes and blankets and water glasses and opened mail and laundry in the dryer. So much to do in my small amount of time before she wakes up...prayer time feels extravagant.

But I respond to His invitation anyway. I take my mug of coffee and the baby monitor out to the porch. I sit quietly as the sun burns through the fog and I wait for the Son to burn through the fog in me.

He shows up. Despite my inconsistency in meeting with Him, He is there. We talk. We sit in silence. We watch the morning sky together. I tell Him about my inadequacies. He tells me about His grace.

I look at the bottom of my coffee cup and I hear the noises on the baby monitor. It's time to go. I walk back in to the messiness but it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Instead I hear His tender reminder as I begin this day...I am with you.

He is with you too today. With all the grace you will need. Feel His tender love for you in every moment.

Rosary Roses: A Review

 P. and I have had several conversations about how we want to pray with our kids and incorporate prayer into our daily lives with them-- like a beautiful monastic rhythm in some ways, where praying together is as normal to them as eating and playing together. However, we're still learning our own rhythm of praying together as a married couple, so any and all tips are always welcome!

Sweet Little Ones has great tips for praying as a family and it was on her blog that I first saw these Rosary Roses from Annery's Handmade, an etsy shop. I'm so excited to review them for you!

This beautiful set was mailed to me by the artisan, Annie Tillberg, from her etsy shop mentioned above. The roses are crocheted with 100% cotton yarn and are beautifully intricate, yet quite hardy for little hands. As a crocheter myself, I was impressed with the quality and workmanship! She has a great, tight stitch that keeps them from feeling flimsy or fragile! (Much better than me.) They're also washable (because again, little hands ;) and they come in 9 beautiful colors!

Aren't they pretty?

The idea of rosary roses is to give little ones a way to pray along with the older kids and parents as you pray the rosary as a family. They will enjoy the soft roses and counting along with the ten Hail Mary's as they lay the roses out. For fingers that are just too small for rosary beads--or too distracted-- these larger, softer "beads" are perfect for them to learn and participate in such a beautiful family devotion!

My adorable niece tried these out the other day and was very intrigued with them. She kept repeating "rosary roses" and enjoyed lining them up. Having just turned two, I think she was right on the border of using these. I'm not sure they would keep her attention for the whole rosary, but I think one decade is realistic for her age. I think a 3-5 year old would enjoy them even more and would learn the concept of praying with them quickly.

K. and I both give them a big thumbs up (or in her case below, a big smile) and I look forward to using them someday with our little one due in August. They would make a fabulous gift for Baptism or a toddler godchild's birthday. Annie also mentions that these roses can be used at the other end of the lifespan-- for the elderly and those who have trouble holding beads because of numbness or other difficulties. 

Make sure to check out Annie's etsy shop for these roses and more. I loved learning more about her shop as well as her inspiration for the roses. As she writes, "Prayer is for all of us, big and little."

And hey! One last thing! A coupon code for free shipping if you order by July 1! :) Just add code SHIPFREE16 with your checkout order at her etsy shop. Thanks, Annie!

With Grit and Grace: February Goals

This link up is just what I need! I was inspired by Christina's post and realized how helpful it would be to make simple monthly goals in addition to the usual things that need done. I'm definitely a list person, and goal setting can either inspire me or intimidate me. I think the important thing with goals is to make them realistic and not overwhelming, and to include things that are creative and get you out of your usual routine. My sister and I often lament that by the time we meal plan or prep, clean, work, etc. we don't have the time or energy for other projects or hobbies. But with goal setting, it will help me prioritize these things-- even if it means the dishes sit a little longer in the dishwasher that day!

Here are my goals for February! 

-Spend time with Jesus one hour a week at our Adoration Chapel (this is my Lenten goal as well)

-Make a German chocolate cake from scratch for my birthday

-Organize our pantry

-Make a few Valentines for friends 

-Host a couple for dinner or coffee (this is a monthly goal for my husband and I)

-Create a prayer space in our office
-Trim the Little Dog's nails

-Make nontoxic household cleaners

-Begin organizing our basement

What are your goals for the month? Give me some comment love! :)

Christmas Prayer Requests

In the joy and beauty of this season, we can sometimes forget that this season can be a real struggle for others (or perhaps for you this year). Infertility, death of a loved one, financial poverty, loneliness-- these painful realities can make it so difficult to celebrate when our world places such emphasis on parties and gifts and laughter.

Just this week, my heart has been impacted by three strong women and the suffering of their families at Christmas this year. In each of their stories, I see a reflection of the strongest woman I know--Mary, the Mother of God. She knows the difficulties surrounding Christmas, she who traveled to Bethlehem and gave birth to our Savior in a stable...and years later, knelt before the cross of her suffering Son, trusting without fully understanding God's plan.

Would you join me in praying for these women and their families?

For E., my dear friend being treated for a brain tumor this year. An MRI in January diagnosing it, a repeat scan in July after surgery only to find a new tumor had grown, and now in December a follow-up MRI after non-surgical treatment. This woman is one of the most hopeful, joyful women I know, with a trust in God that lights up her eyes even as she walks this road. We pray for good test results, and for her strength and hope in the midst of her treatment.

For B.'s family. Years ago, B. and her husband adopted two precious little girls. Having overcome cancer when they were young, it then returned in the past couple years. B. passed away a year ago this month, leaving her godly husband and two beautiful teenage daughters. I saw them at the cemetery at church yesterday, remembering the anniversary of her death and praying. I couldn't help but cry for their loss as I drove past praying for them. May God comfort her husband and her daughters as they grieve, and guide and bless them with renewed hope and joy in the future.

For L. and her son. Little J.T. is an adorable two-year-old who won a pro-life photo contest for Down Syndrome children. At a routine doctor visit less than a month ago, they discovered he has leukemia. He was admitted the same day and is receiving chemotherapy. We visited L. and little J.T. at the children's hospital last weekend, where they are staying until the first round of treatment is finished. J.T.'s siblings are praying he will be home for Christmas. We pray for healing and strength, endurance and trust for their family.

Thank you for lifting up these strong women and their families to the Lord. Know that if you are reading this and you are also struggling this holiday season, I am praying for you, too.

N.A.S.--How Do You Pray at Home?

I'm linking up with the N.A.S. girls this week! I loved their topic:

How do you pray at home? Do you have a special place in your house? How do you make that area special? Comfy chair? Prayer cards? What suggestions do you have to make a home altar? If you don't do this, in what ways can you begin?

Prayer is one of my favorite topics! Not because I'm particularly good at it, but because I want to be! I think it's one of the greatest gifts to us from God-- how amazing is it that He not only brought us into being but that He wants to continually commune with us. This infinite, powerful God allows us to talk to Him any time!!

My main prayer time would be in the morning. I love to start my day with prayer. I used to pray in the car on the way to work, but a few years ago I challenged myself during Advent to get up 30-40 minutes earlier and pray at home by the light of a candle with a cup of tea. It pretty much changed my{prayer} life. I've done it ever since! (with an occasional miss here and there after a late night or on a rushed morning-- you know, always keeping it real!)

Even though prayer is simply raising our minds and hearts to God, I do find that atmosphere and outer circumstances can be more or less conducive to that. I love to have a cup of tea or coffee and curl up under a blanket...the same way I would be less distracted catching up with a girlfriend than if we were in the middle of a loud, crazy party. We're more likely to connect with God if we take the time to remove distractions, calm our minds and hearts, and prepare to focus on quality time with Him. 

I do actually have a "prayer spot" but I generally just use it for morning prayers, although sometimes I retreat to it after a crazy or stressful or emotional day. It's a corner of my couch in the guest room, where the end table has a basket of devotional, printed prayers, and books on my favorite saints. Several of my religious pictures hang in that room and help me focus as well. 

My favorite aids to prayer are the rosary, the Litany of Humility (Laura P., it gets less intimidating as you pray it, seriously! Sometimes I find myself actually desiring those things, haha!), the Mass readings for the day, and a list of intentions from my women's group. I also honestly just love spontaneous prayer. It helps me feel connected to God when I just talk to Him from my heart or pause and reflect on His truths and promises about His love and care for me individually. 

Despite my love of prayer, I definitely get distracted or allow other things to take priority! My goal for improvement would be to be more intentional during my prayer (and not get habitual or monotonous) as well as to challenge myself to lengthen the time I set aside to pray in the morning and evening (too often I find myself cutting off 5-10 minutes here and there, waiting until I'm too tired, and so on). 

I just went to a spiritual retreat a few weeks ago and purchased this book on prayer by one of the speakers, beautiful and Spirit-led Sister Ann Shields of Renewal Ministries:



I look forward to being challenged and inspired to go ever deeper with the Lord.

Looking forward to reading all of your thoughts, too, ladies!

Check out the other posts on prayer at Jen's blog!

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

This fairy tale has had its share of fire-breathing dragons, damsels in distress, and tangled forests.

And to be honest? It probably will continue to.

But that's okay...“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” 

Our tale?

Once upon a time we met in Summer 2011 at a church picnic. He fell head over heels. I was dating someone else.
The photographer claims she knew it was coming...

I joined as a chaperone for the mission trip in Spring 2012, no longer in a relationship.
Now I fall head over heels for this incredible spiritual leader.
Who also has all the charm of, well, you know, Prince Charming.

So we work together,

We laugh together.

We serve together.

But life gets messy. Really messy sometimes.

We wonder if God is really calling us to play on the same team.

 We ask for a little help from our friends...



A lot of time, tears, grace, and growth. Dragons being beaten. Dark forests being traveled. 

And then one day...

This.

He proposes. I say yes. 

And we live happily ever after.
Well, kind of. Because the goal of marriage isn't to be happy...
It's to be holy.
And to get to Heaven, where we'll be eternally happy.
So we're on this journey together with the hope of a happily ever after.

The end.

Just kidding. It's only the beginning. And I'm beyond grateful to be walking this path with this man whom I admire, respect, and love so deeply. What a gift. What an incredible joy and blessing from above. Thank YOU for your faithful friendship as a reader, for staying with me through the storms and sunshine. Please continue to do so, for I treasure you and love sharing life with you. Pray for us and know that I pray for you.

Life is beautiful. 

"Every person's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers." -Hans Christian Andersen

Pray

Got to bed on time. Woke up on time.

Poured myself a mug of coffee (on this 50 degree summer morning!! Sheesh!) and pulled on a cozy sweatshirt then snuggled onto the couch in my 'prayer area.'

And I realized how long it felt since I had done this. I pray daily. And often. But something was different. I was still. Inside and out. I was open. I was calm. I wasn't checking the time.

He was there. But He always is. This time I was really there.

I can't describe it, friends. But I was convicted in a gentle way. Because now that I have more time...I'm not always using it as I should. Sometimes I choose the fiction book. Or the internet browsing. Or the bedtime snack. Instead of the purposeful coming away from the world, choosing quiet so that I can hear Him and rest in Him (Mark 6:31).

I've been anxious. Fearful. Restless. My mind has been wrestling with a few different things.

But these past couple days as I've been more intentional with 'coming away' to pray-- really pray (the coffee shop prayers), not just go through the motions or talk to God distractedly, I've felt the peace trickle in once again. Did it solve all my fears and anxiety? No. But it reminded me what I've been missing. That all the other relaxing or enjoyable things I might pursue in the summertime cannot give me the rest or joy that true heartfelt prayer does.

So this week I'm choosing to prioritize prayer. To decrease distractions-- the inside ones and the outside ones.

Will you keep me accountable? Do you want to join me?

Whether your summer is lonely or busy, lazy or crazy, there's a Father who waits for us with all the love, strength, guidance, comfort, and protection our feminine hearts desire.

Words

I'm curled up on my bed with my laptop, you know, on top of my lap. (ha. funny.) I'm reading Pinterest quotes. All the good ones I've pinned into my quotes folder. For times like these. For nights like these.


When I forget who I am. When I see my sin and selfishness and I'm overwhelmed. When I feel the weight of unfulfilled desires, unchecked to-do lists, and unprocessed emotions. When I'm convinced I'm stagnant, boring, empty, worthless. When guilt and discouragement blind me.


I sank into the chair earlier. Desperate for prayer yet distant from Him at the same time. I leaned my head back and rested for a moment. My mind was silent then jolted awake by my heart speaking to God unexpectedly.


Do you want me? it asked, pleaded, as two crocodile tears slipped down my cheeks unbidden. I was startled by my heart's cry. It wasn't what I had come to pray about.


But perhaps it was the root of my struggles.


Did I believe in a Father who loved me--liked me even--and wanted me, as His child, as His beloved? Or did I believe I was simply His servant--His slave?--who never was good enough, never quite who she wanted to be, so perhaps not who He wanted her to be either?


I see it written out and I know the truth. I know it in my mind. But my heart doesn't grasp it sometimes.


So I'm reminding my heart tonight. And you know, I think God uses even Pinterest to speak to us sometimes.


{And yes, of course I'll share my quotes board with you!}

What to do with all those Christmas cards...

I know I'm a little behind most of you in just taking down our Christmas decorations last weekend, but I couldn't part with them! I love the twinkling lights on the tree in the dark mornings and evenings...

You may already do this with your old Christmas cards, or perhaps you like to save them or scrapbook with them, but I'll share this sweet tradition from my family anyway.

Instead of just tossing them into the trash as you take them down, gather them into a basket. Each morning, take one out and pray for the sender at that time and perhaps even throughout that day.

Thanks, Mom, for the idea!

On My Knees

I’ve found it hard to pray lately.

For many different reasons. Sometimes I’m too lazy tired and I barely get a thought in before I’m drifting away. Sometimes I’m distracted. Sometimes I’m moody and don’t feel like talking to God (just keeping it real, folks!). And sometimes…I just really don’t know what to say. It’s not that I don’t have things I want, or things I’m thankful for, or others to pray for…

It just feels like it’s all been said.

Yet in the back of my mind is the advice of our dear priest-friend when I was growing up. To keep praying in the dry seasons. You can shorten it, you can simplify it, but keep praying.

(Now trust me when I say I don’t always follow this wise advice. I’ve slipped into bed with a quick thought up to heaven while I’m snuggling under those polka-dot sheets. And I’ve rushed some Bible reading in before Rachael Ray comes on in the morning on a day off. But let’s move on to the positive, shall we?!)

So one night recently, I attempted to stir up the routine a little. I turned off my light and I knelt beside my bed. There’s something about kneeling that makes it a lot harder to fall asleep while you’re praying! And I followed the ACTS acronym for prayer—just one thing per letter. It’s simple, it’s thorough, and it helps me be purposeful in connecting with the Lord.

A- Adoration. I think of a way I was in awe of His presence that day…something that reminds me of His power and greatness. A comforting reminder that His ways and thoughts are higher.

C- Contrition. In order to keep growing, I need to be real with myself and look at a way I failed to be faithful to Him and others this day. Let’s call it what it is: sin! Acknowledge it, learn from it, and be sorry for it. His grace and mercy are abundant.

T- Thanksgiving. Something from the day that warms my heart, however great or small. There’s always something to be thankful for, and gratitude amazingly improves my perspective.

S- Supplication. Who did I interact with today that needs lifted up in prayer? What’s something that's really been weighing on my mind or heart today?

That’s it. One item per category. But you know what? Once I get going, I often think of more things to tell Him about. And if I don’t—I know I’ve at least followed Father M.’s advice and that of 1 Thessalonians 5:17. God sees and knows our efforts. He is strength when we are weak. His Spirit intercedes for us when we are at a loss for words (Romans 8:26).

If you’re struggling to pray, hang in there! These things are helping me right now, but it’s not about a formula, a to-do list, or a fuzzy feeling. It’s about connecting with the God who made us, redeemed us, and makes us holy one day at a time.

At My Master's Feet

I sat in the Adoration Chapel. Mind going at its usual fast pace. Distracted. Trying to focus and pray while the background thoughts raced by.

Sit, I commanded myself frustratedly. Just sit still and pray.

I grinned inwardly at myself, noticing that my admonition sounded like I was talking to a dog.

As humbling as it was to compare myself to a dog, I realized dogs have some very admirable qualities. They love unconditionally. They obey promptly (most of the time). They keep their eyes on their master. And they love to sit at his or her feet.

Hmmm…

Sometimes I need one-word commands like a dog. Simple cue words to remind me of my priorities.

Sit. Put aside the need to do, and just be. Pause throughout the day. Rest in the Lord’s presence. Let His grace fill your heart to overflowing, replenishing your strength for the remainder of the day.

Down. “No servant is greater than his master,” Jesus said (John 13:16). Humble yourself. Follow His example of serving others in love and humility.

Stay. Stop trying to figure out your future. Stay in the present moment. Look for the opportunities God sends each day for you to follow Him one day at a time. Stay by His side. Don’t try to run ahead.

What simple yet profound lessons for me.

Loving Father, please help me to keep my eyes on You. Make me eager to please you and prompt in obeying you. And help me to learn to sit contentedly at Your feet.

Remembering the Smallest Americans

Loving Father,

We pray today for the all your children, but especially for your unborn children. So fragile, so vulnerable. We pray for those parents who are considering abortion of their unborn child. Work in their hearts, Lord, and show them the miraculous gift of life you have entrusted to them and the responsibility that includes.

We pray for the doctors, nurses, and medical staff who are involved in abortions. We pray for their souls, that they may see your light and your truth.

We pray for all those on the March for Life in Washington, D.C. today, and all the local marches, braving the cold to be a voice for the silent unborn. Bless them for their efforts and sacrifice.

We pray for our beautiful country, for its leaders, that they may lead with honor and integrity. Pour your grace into their hearts, that they will have the courage and conviction to fight for life in all its stages, so that we will no longer be a nation which kills its own.

Forgive us, Lord, for our apathy and indifference. Set us on fire to be bold witnesses for life in whatever opportunities you send.

Amen.

This Little Light of Mine...

I cuddled in my chair, watching the candles as I prayed. One little tealight was dimmer than the others. It looked as if it were almost ready to go out, but it continued to burn with a gentle orange glow next to the other bright, flickering candles.

Only a moment later I glanced at the candle again and noticed it burning brighter. Instead of a quiet glimmer, it had grown into a taller, shining flame—still not as tall as the others, but shining with its own light.

And in that moment, my heart related to the little candle.

Sometimes I feel bright and filled with the light of Christ. Ready to meet the day and live it for Him. To share His light with others.

But sometimes I feel my energy grow dim. My bright mood darkens with sadness or pain or weariness. I can hardly keep the embers glowing and I fear that all will be ashes soon.

I wait. I hold onto the tiny glow within. I hope.

And as time passes, the flame begins to grow again. My sparkle returns and I am grateful for more light.

Two different lights. The bright blaze, full of energy and warmth. And the tiny spark that is ready to go out, that is using everything within it to keep glowing in the darkness.

The beautiful truth is...both can glorify Him. He understands that feelings come and go, that weariness happens, that motivation wanes.

But He does ask that we keep going. That we give Him all we have, whether it be a bright blaze or a tiny spark.

He'll take care of the rest.

After all, He is the Light of the World.

Post-Christmas Prayer

Post-Christmas Prayer

Author Unknown

Long after the angels disappear into the heavens, the shepherds return to their flocks, the magi journey home, and the great star sets, Jesus remains.
The Child in whom we rediscover God's great love for humanity becomes the adult Redeemer who challenges us to imitate his selflessness and compassion in order that we might transform our world in love.
May we allow the miracle of Christmas to continue long after the holiday trappings have been packed away.
May we welcome the adult Messiah and his challenging Gospel to recreate our lives-- making the peace, justice, and hope of this holy season a reality in every season of the new year.

(From Everything Christmas, by David Bordon and Thomas Winters)

Coffee Shop Prayers

Once upon a Sunday I was lounging at the coffee shop with several books and a mug of my Hot Cinnamon Spice tea.

As I sipped my tea, I noticed a few customers seated at a table, deep in conversation. It reminded me of times in the past when I'd met with friends at a quaint restaurant or coffee shop to catch up. To share the ups and downs of our lives. To rejoice, lament, and laugh with each other. Leaving full of encouragement, comfort, and inspiration. A bond is formed and strengthened.

I thought of what a difference there is between spending time with a friend in a coffee shop and saying hello to a friend in the grocery store.

When I see a friend in the grocery store, it brings a smile to my face (unless I am sneaking through with no makeup and lounge pants!). I chat only for a moment but it can brighten my mood just to see them and remember them.

But it lacks the depth of the coffee shop times.

The more you spend time with someone and the deeper the conversation, the closer you grow.

All relationships.

Including one with our God.

Sometimes my prayers are like a hello in the grocery. I think of the Lord randomly throughout the day. It brightens my mood remembering He's there. I ask for His help in a quick prayer or lift up those around me in prayer.

But if I don't set aside specific time to meet with Him in prayer, my relationship lacks depth. I need my coffee shop time with Him. To have a heart-to-heart conversation and lay it all out before Him. To praise, rejoice, lament, and even laugh.

When I remove distractions, when I quiet and open my heart, when I go deeper in my time with Him...

We grow closer. The bond between Savior and sinner, Father and child, is strengthened. I leave with comfort, encouragement, or inspiration.

The devil knows this. And he will do everything he can to keep us from that quiet time. Distracting us with all the things on our to-do list in the morning. Keeping us rushed and busy during the day so we are too tired in the evening.

The quick "grocery store" prayers throughout the day are wonderful because they connect us to and remind of of God's presence. But we need to set aside quality "coffee shop" time for Him in order to go deeper and grow closer. He wants to hear the ups and downs of our lives.

He is always, always ready to meet with us.

We just need to accept the invitation.