Monday, March 9, 2015


We're getting married in two months.

My dress needs altered.

We don't know where we're living.

We don't have all of the music selected.

And four weeks ago, life changed forever.

Because his dad died unexpectedly. 

We were in town with all of his siblings. For a baptism.

Welcoming a new little one into God's kingdom on earth...while his dad was welcomed into eternity.

And we're reeling.

I'm not his wife yet. I feel too fresh, too inexperienced, for this.

I'm floundering something fierce. Making mistakes left and right.

Loving imperfectly.

But somehow there's grace.

There's grace in knowing his dad was praying at the very moment of death. That he left an incredible legacy of the story of his life, his faith...and his family.

There's grace in seeing the man I'm going to marry be so beautifully tender and vulnerable...and so immeasurably strong and faithful. Watching him cling to the cross. And hold on to hope.

There's grace in watching the faith and strength of his mom as she trusts in the Lord unconditionally and still worships with joy.

But there's still pain.

Because he can't call his dad or hug his dad or ask him for advice.

The space between heaven and earth is wide.

And my inadequacy as an almost-wife feels deep.

Pray for us?