Tuesday, February 3, 2015

NAS: Qualities of a Husband

My internet time has been anything but consistent lately, so it was wonderful to spend some time this morning catching up on blogs. You all inspire me so much. I was particularly touched by this post and this post. Natasha has long been a blog-mentor for me and I know I'll continue to seek her wisdom in my first year of marriage. Britt Leigh reminded me to pause in the craziness of engagement and remember why I'm so grateful for my man! So I'm going to link up with the N.A.S. girls today, too. They're talking about desired qualities in a husband (and I hope they don't mind I'm joining in the discussion!).

P. and I had a marriage counseling session with my parish priest on Thursday and then on Saturday we went to an Joy-Filled Marriage retreat. Both sessions were intense and very helpful and fruitful! Seriously-- it's such a challenging, humbling season for a recovering perfectionist, a self-proclaimed introvert, a dramatic over-thinker (umm...yes, me). Because we're two unique individuals raised by two different sets of unique individuals...trying to become one with a God-breathed vision of a future lived for Him, together. It's exciting and beautiful and amazing...and kinda hard.

So I'm pausing today. Looking back at the qualities I desired in a husband, and how beautifully He fulfilled those desires in P.

A Country Boy- Okay, this one is kind of funny. This was one of my non-negotiables growing up...but P. is a total city boy. He worked in downtown Cleveland, he loves skyscrapers, he is energized by the hustle and bustle of the city. Thankfully, he appreciates my love for the country and he has his own love for God's creation in nature.

Solid in His Faith- check. check. check. He has a degree in Biblical Theology so the head knowledge is there, but even better is that it has traveled down to his heart, where there resides a beautifully sincere desire to know the Lord and grow in personal relationship with Him.

Close to Family- we both value our current families and the potential of our future family. He is very loving with his parents and siblings. His dad is paralyzed from the neck down, and it never fails to move me greatly seeing the two of them interact.

Intelligent- I'm pretty sure he's smarter than me. haha. We both love to read. He loves deep conversations and I try to keep up for the most part.

Attractive to Me- this was a big one! I really really wanted to be attracted to my husband! There was always the fear that I'd get a 'good' man but not one I was attracted to! Silly, untrusting woman that I was...(and still am so often!) Godly men are very attractive and this one still makes my heart flutter!!

A Great Leader- Though I love biblical femininity and desire a home modeled after Ephesians 5, I also am by nature a leader. I love leading in whatever ministries or opportunities the Lord provides, but I really wanted a man that I could look up to as the primary leader in spiritual matters and with a family. Though my stubbornness spunkiness still asserts itself occasionally when we disagree, I'm so grateful the Lord sent a man I can follow with respect and admiration.

There are also some qualities that weren't necessarily on my unwritten list but are such wonderful traits in P!...

A Great Communicator- I thought I was a great communicator but P has shown himself to be a wonderful example to learn from! (I still think it helps that he doesn't have all the crazy emotions we women have when we're trying to communicate!) He is steadfast, patient, and calm in the tough conversations, and excellent with conflict resolution.

Fun- he's really fun! I'm in my late 20's and he's in his early 30's, so I love that we both can still act like kids together! We both acknowledge that we take life too seriously, so I appreciate his lighthearted, silly side!

A Heart for the Poor- this one continues to challenge me and I know the Lord is using it to mold me into the woman He desires to be. P. has always loved the poor and wants to serve them in some radical ways throughout our life and marriage.

Great with Kids- even though I love kids, I never really thought about this quality as long as a man wanted a family and children. But P's gentle, creative side with our nephews and nieces is so endearing. I can't wait to see him as a dad.

Athletic- again, since we're 'older,' I sooo appreciate that we both love being active! Running, biking, tennis, basketball, frisbee-- it's so much fun to play sports together or be active outdoors (though he's the more athletic one-- I just like running around and being competitive!).

Social Skills- I'm always happy to introduce him to people or be together in a group setting. He's great at drawing out others in conversation, leading group prayer, being polite and genteel, and making a group outing fun.

So there we go! We certainly have our challenges at times and will continue to, but I am so deeply grateful for the manly (and godly!) qualities of P. as the Lord draws each of us--with our unique qualities-- together to grow in greater love for each other, for Him, and for the world.