Second Week of Advent

Sitting at the kitchen table with the Little Dog on my lap. Homemade spaghetti sauce warming on the stove (thank you, freezer, for giving me fresh food in the winter!). Achingly beautiful Christmas music playing in the background, making me tear up at the slightest swell of instruments.

And I'm thinking about you.

All you wonderful people who visit this site.  (um, and just a little bit about the Christmas cookies in the fridge.)You who welcome me into your home by reading my blog. (okay, I understand if that sounds a little creepy.) Who type comment love or friendly emails here and there, reminding me that my brothers and sisters live all over this big world but are so very beautifully connected.

So I wanted to say hello. And happy Advent.

You know I love this Church season of Advent. This invitation to slow down, seek quiet, trust in waiting, surrender to mystery. It wraps itself around my soul with gentle beckoning.

I responded this year to that call as with other years. I was ready to prepare Him room. I told my women's share group about my goals of finding Christ in the quiet, darkness, fasting, and waiting...just as our Advent program had focused on.

Somehow I pictured myself transformed by fervent prayer, calm solitude, overwhelming peace.

Instead these first two weeks have been more characterized by fervent grumbling, calm despair, and overwhelming uncertainty.

Don't get me wrong. I still love the season. I have my decorations up and my heart lights up when my Christmas tree does. I hosted a cookie swap with a dozen or so girlfriends. I sipped hot chocolate with two of them and crafted Christmas cards. I've absolutely relished a new Advent devotional recommended by a friend (Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas).

But amidst all that, I find myself being selfish, discontent, lonely, and discouraged. I play the comparison game. I get frustrated at both jobs. I need a break from people but I get lonely at home. I choose the temporary over the eternal. I whine. I pout. I sin. It's not a pretty sight, soul-friends. And that further discourages me, because this isn't how I wanted my Advent to be. Old memories surface. Unfulfilled desires nudge. It hurts.

I'm not where I want to be. I'm not who I want to be.

Emmanuel. My heart cries out.

I keep learning.

God-Is-With-Us.

Instead of the warmth of Advent wrapping around me, I'm feeling stripped of control and comfort.

It's cold. It's vulnerable. It's painful. It's messy. But hope draws near. Because these are the conditions of the Christmas stable. Of the uncomfortable Christmas journey to Bethlehem.

Messy manger. Messy heart.

I'm finding He chooses both to dwell within.

This Advent is not what I planned. But somehow He's using it. He's making it beautiful before I can see it.

Like Mary, He simply wants me to be open. To be. To look to Him with trust so that He can enter in and be born to the world through me. (From that amazing devotional I mentioned above!)

Maybe I'm not where I want to be or who I want to be. But I know this tender Savior enters into our messes. To transform us into who He wants us to be.

Maybe He's already here.

Emmanuel.

Wisdom for Wednesdays

"Advent is a time of expectation…As the season of commemorating Christ’s birth approaches, something stirs in us, something deep and profound, as if we are expecting a great miracle." 

–Catherine Doherty

Wisdom for Wednesdays

"Contentment is being able to enjoy the scenery when you are taking a detour."

 

-Gerald R. Payne

7 Quick Takes [vol. 15]

So I thought maybe if I didn't put the word "Friday" in the title of this post, you guys might forget this is supposed to be a Friday post, not a Saturday one...but then I added in the picture logo and realized it's hopeless. I'm late. I'm cheating. It's Saturday and these are my quick takes.

 

--1--

 



I love these cozy Saturday mornings at home. Slept in (a rare occurrence), drank coffee like it was water in a desert, and just slowly enjoyed the morning with prayer, books, and pumpkin waffles. Four girlfriends came over last night for homemade pizza, visiting a nursing home with our pets, and then girl talk over hot chocolate until 1 in the morning. I'm always refreshed after being with such inspiring souls.


A, Me, and R

--2--

 

My roommate GOT MARRIED a month ago and moved to NORTH DAKOTA! Craziness. It feels like it happened so fast the reality still hasn't set in! We worked such different shifts, I think the adjustment has been easier than I anticipated. She worked 5pm-2am (poor girl) and I work 8am-5pm, so we didn't see each other very often even when we lived together. But still! I can't believe she's across the country now! I'll miss our random cooking nights, movie nights, and homemaking adventures. She and her husband are so cute together and very much in love. Pictures, you ask?

 

How sweet are they?!

 

--3--

 

I was looking for a new roommate (any takers??) but in the meantime, I've been rearranging...and I'm loving the extra space! I now have a craft and reading room, with a bookshelf, all my scrapbooking/cardmaking supplies, and a futon in it for any overnight guests. It's perfectly cozy and purposeful. I can't wait to make Christmas cards in it! (and be able to close the door on the mess until I'm finished with the project!) 

 

Bookshelf is where I'm standing, and there's a card table to the side for crafting



 

--4--

 

Second snow today. Just a dusting but very pretty to see the swirling snowflakes as they fell!

 

This was the first snow a few weeks ago

 

--5--

 



I saw a funny Facebook link on "dog shaming" pictures when your puppy misbehaves. So adorably funny! Since my Little Dog has episodes of misbehavior from time to time, I decided to try one out with him...and it didn't take long for him to provide the perfect opportunity. What do you think?

 

 

 

--6--

 

Road trip! A few weeks ago K. and I went to Holmes County, OH (Amish country, my friends!!) to visit our sweet friend L. We spent the night at her gorgeous home and then enjoyed a Saturday of shopping in the quaint town of Berlin, finishing it off at a yummy Amish restaurant. On Friday night, we had a little trouble and the 4 hour trip turned into a 5 hour trip due to *ahem* some navigator issues...(that would be me). In my defense, it is entirely mostly possibly probably not Mapquest's fault.

 

This is how their directions read:

 

Take interstate 75 South.                                    2.5 miles / total trip 50.5 miles

 

Now is it not completely understandable that I would accidentally see the 50 miles instead of the 2 miles and direct K. to drive 50 miles on interstate 75?

 

Well, that's what I did.

 

And so she happily set the trip tracker for 50 miles and we didn't begin to look for the exit until we were a good 45 miles past it! It's not a good thing when the gas station attendant looks at you blankly when you ask how far you are from your destination. ("Never heard of that town...")

 

All's well that ends well. (Right, K??) My kind, map-reading boyfriend answered the SOS phone call and got us back on track.

 

Mmmm...we love Amish peanut butter. Nevermind that it's comprised of five different types of sugar/sweeteners.

 

--7--

 

Last but not least, have a beautiful Thanksgiving. Families aren't perfect, turkeys overcook, and we can get lonely in a crowd of people...but there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. :) May our Lord bless you with a grateful heart, His abundance grace, and His unending love this week. I'm hugging you right now!











Wisdom for Wednesdays

Grace was in all her steps, heav'n in her eye,

In every gesture dignity and love.

 

-John Milton, poet

Wisdom for Wednesdays

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting encouragement and good hope through His grace, encourage your hearts and strengthen them in every good deed and word."

 

-2 Thess. 2:16-17

Wisdom for Wednesdays

"Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

(emphasis mine)