An Attitude of Gratitude

I just finished a book called Attitude of Gratitude, by M.J. Ryan. This is the third book by this author I've read and she always manages to inspire and encourage me to grow and follow Jesus' teachings more closely in my daily life.


Which is interesting, considering the author appears to adopt some Buddhist views. (That would be my disclaimer for any potential readers.) Yet despite our differing views on where we come from and where we're going, M.J. and I seem to agree on the middle part of the journey.


Her passion for living in the moment and being grateful for the blessings of each day are attitudes that we as followers of Christ should embrace. Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, that our Father will take care of it just as He does for the lilies and the sparrows. St. Paul tells us to give thanks in all circumstances, to be content in whatever state.


Through some very real struggles this past year, I have realized anew how important gratitude is in all circumstances. No matter how difficult a cross we are carrying, there are always blessings to recognize if we have the eyes to see.


In the midst of weariness, we can be thankful for the strength and grace of God. In the midst of heartache, we can be thankful that He knows and He cares. When people let us down, we can be thankful for the friends who are tried and true. When we're uncertain about the future, we can be thankful for the family and loved ones who support and encourage us. When we feel like we're in a stretching season, we can be thankful for the hope that God is molding and changing us-- even if we may not see the whole picture yet.


Living with gratitude makes life shine with beauty. Sometimes life is crazy, difficult, painful. But when we embrace gratitude...looking up to the Giver instead of inside ourselves...life is definitely beautiful.

When the threads of life aren't making sense...

"The Weaver"
by Grant Colfax Tuller

My Life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who choose to walk with Him.

The "In-Between" time

I've officially put away my Christmas decorations. The season of celebrating our Savior's birth is over until next year. Considering how quickly time seems to pass these days, Easter will be here before we know it, and we'll be reminded of the reason the Savior was born-- that He came to die for us, to conquer death and rise in victory.

But between those two glorious events-- His birth and His rising from the dead-- there's a time that shouldn't be overlooked.

The 'in-between' time.

The time when Jesus grew up in Nazareth with His parents. Teaching us that a quiet life lived for the Father is pleasing to Him. The time of the Gospels, when He began His public ministry, reaching out to the lost and the hurting. When He healed the sick and the blind and the lame. When He taught those around Him how to live and how to love. The times He laughed and cried. When He was tempted by the devil. When He was rejected by those around Him.

This is a God who not only saved us, but cared enough to live with us. Who not only wants to be our Redeemer, but also our Friend.

He cares about the little details of life. He understands because He's been there. Nothing is too great for Him to handle, but also nothing is too small to bring to Him.

What an amazing God.

Thank you, Lord, for being born for us. Thank you for saving us. And thank you for the in-between time.

My Texas White Christmas!

Riding horses on a sunny 70's December day

Building a snowman after the blizzard came the next day!

Bundled up in our stylish parkas for the ice sculpture exhibit

Singing Christmas carols with the family

Making Christmas goodies (and eating them!)

Remembering the true meaning of Christmas

All is calm, all is bright.

Wishing you a beautiful Christmas season and a New Year full of joy and peace!

What do I know?

Addison Road has done it again. Written a beautiful, stirring song that reaches to the depths of me with lyrics that speak to my soul.

I remember listening to their song, "Hope Now," on the way home from one of my doctor visits during my PCOS appointments. The words encouraging me to have hope in the One who created me, the One who sees the whole picture and not just the moment. That when we feel broken down by the world, His love sets us free, as the songs says.

And now I've been hearing another song on the radio, "What Do I Know of Holy?" I was sold on it the first time I heard it. Letting the words sink in during a time when I'm learning that life cannot fit in the perfect little box we'd like it to...and neither does God.

"I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small...
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees"

I know I've made Him too small at times. Snuggled up for my prayer time with my Father, ready with multiple hopes, sorrows, supplications. Focusing on my life, my little world.

But it's not my little world. It's His. It's all His. And it's huge. I make Him too small when I am only concerned about what He can do for me. With where I am at this moment in life. The small portion in front of me instead of the big picture in front of Him.

Not that He doesn't care. Because He does. With a never-ending, unconditional, amazing love.

Yet when I focus solely on my limited vision and my struggles, I need to be careful not to make myself the god. Not to think I am the one things should revolve around. "What do I know of holy?" The one who "spoke me into motion"? The "God who gave life its name"? Am I remembering his power and his might and his perfection? Am I realizing that if I saw Him in all His glory, I would fall to my knees? The qualities that make God so mysterious and huge and beyond my human thoughts are the same qualities that make His personal love, His willingness and desire to be part of our individual lives so amazing.

That a God we still can barely comprehend wants to be close to us. He doesn't mind that we can do so little compared to what He has done for us.

As we begin Advent, preparing for the birth of Jesus, I feel so incredibly blessed...

that we serve a God who is so infinitely above us, but who comes down to our level to bring us to Him. That the God who created the universe sent His Son to become one of us, that we would not be afraid to come to Him.

What do I know of holy? Maybe not much...but the Holy One asks me to follow Him, to learn to know Him. And though today I may only know a fraction of Who He really is, I have the hope of all of eternity to keep learning.

Letting Go

God speaks to us in the little things, often when we least expect it...but when we need it most.

So many internal struggles had been building. Worries about this, frustrations about that. Uncertainties, unknowns, fears. Giving them to God was something I knew I needed to do in my head, but something my heart found difficult to do. And so I carried them with me, despite how they weighed down my spirit.

On a typical Thursday morning a few weeks ago, I worked in the stress test room in Cardiology. We had our usual line-up of patients. Everything is specifically timed and must run like clockwork for a smooth day.

Our third patient of the morning arrived. A middle-aged man with thick glasses, clutching a book. I sensed something different about him. When I looked into his eyes and saw the lack of focus. When I heard him speak and listened to his words. When I read the diagnoses on his chart.

He was legally blind.

And he had schizophrenia.

There's a special place in my heart for those with mental illness. Going through my psychiatric nursing clinicals in school allowed me to see into the hearts and minds of the patients. And you just don't look at mental illness the same again.

Throughout the morning, the patient was friendly and talkative. Optimistic even though we were performing a test that was attempting to determine is the arteries of his heart were blocked. I realized the Source of his joy when I saw that the book he was clutching was his Bible. My heart was touched, but I continued with the day's duties, anxious to stay on time.

As I mixed his IV medications, I overheard him chattering to the other nurse. He was discussing the struggles he had gone through and how his faith helped him in difficult times.

I stood behind the room curtain listening, amazed at the beauty of this man. Everything in me urged me to take his words to heart-- to believe that his message was for me, that God wanted me to listen to his words. God was manifesting Himself through this man. Allowing me to see the beauty and wonder of a soul that trusts in the Lord.

And then, in the patient's sweet and simple way, he shared the thought he treasures most from his case worker:

"Let go and let God."

I've seen the statement on bulletin boards; I've read it in print. But it has never had the power it had that moment when this helpless patient spoke it from his heart.

'Let' is such a big word, he said. And he's right. How difficult it is for us to let go, to release our grip from things that are safer in the hands of the Father anyway.

Today my patient came in again for the results of his stress test.

They were abnormal.

But he and I both know he'll be okay. He knows the One who makes all things new. He knows how to let go, how to give his uncertainties and fears in exchange for strength and courage.

He may be thankful for the care the nurses have given him. But I'm thankful for what he has given us.

"A Peek Into My Day" Carnival

So I've been really, really behind in my blogging. The longer the break I take from blogging or journaling, the harder it is to start back up. .

I thought the YLCF blog carnvial would be a perfect time to get back in the swing of things, so without further ado...here is a day in my life:

8:20am Ahh, the joys of sleeping in on a Saturday. The joy is usually short-lived. I love the feeling of sleeping in, just not the feeling of my day beginning late!

8:30am Morning prayer time with Jesus. These days are ones of adjustment as my family finishes our first week in the new house. I'm not the best person to deal with change, so I soak up my time with the Lord, drawing strength and grace for the day.

9:00am Breakfast time! A quick one today-- yummy pumpkin chocolate chip muffins!

9am-12pm Spent the morning doing little things around the house: tidying my room, reading new books from the library, chatting on the phone with Grant, working on to-do list for church CCD class, playing with Micah in the leaves. He's not only the cutest and smartest dog in the world (a little prejudice on my part, perhaps) but he is also oh-so-fun to play tag with! We took a short walk down the road; it was rather windy and chilly. The beautiful fall colors are coming to an end.

12:30pm Lunchtime with my family, then I pack to spend the night with my married sister for some girl time! Her husband and father-in-law are working outside, so I'm more then happy to keep her company.

1:00pm I stop at the library to look for a movie to watch...and an hour goes by before I leave. But I have a stack of books and movies, so all is well!

2:00pm I stop at the video store because the library just didn't have any fun chick flicks that we were in the mood for. "You've Got Mail" is the title I settle on for tonight. Meg Ryan and a PG rating-- sounds good to me!

3:00pm I arrive at the charming farmhouse where my sis and her husband live. We spend the afternoon chatting and listening to music while home-making greeting cards. I'm so grateful for my sister and the time we can spend together. We both have our struggles and challenges but I'm encouraged and inspired when I'm with her. She has a beautiful home, a loving husband, and an abiding faith. I want to be just like her.

5:00pm Crafting makes us hungry! We leave for the little town Subway and bring back sandwiches for us and the men. The men join us for supper and then return to their work. Kendra and I clean up the kitchen and settle in for the movie.

7:00-9:30pm Snuggled up on the couch and chair, we enjoy our chick flick, despite a few scratches on the DVD.

9:30pm Jeremy comes in for the evening and the three of us pray the rosary and then chat for awhile.

9:15pm (No, I'm not out of order. Jeremy turned back the clock for daylight savings time! hee hee) I have my own evening time with the Lord and then read a few chapters from my library books.

9:45pm My day ends with a phone call to my man, discussing our days, our upcoming time together, and anything in between. :)

10:30pm Time for bed. I get to sleep in the spare room and I'm every bit as delighted with spare rooms as Anne Shirley. Goodnight, world.