Friday, January 9, 2009

Waiting with patience and Living with purpose

"You're not alone, For I am here,
Let me wipe away your every tear,
My love, I've never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night,
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life,
Faithful and true, Forever, Oh my love will carry you."

-"You're Not Alone," Meredith Andrews

I love when God sends us songs on the radio at just the right moment. I had been talking on the phone with Grant not too long before and found out that his 2 week leave from Iraq is being pushed later, possibly even to April instead of the February I had hoped for.

All of a sudden I realized how much I had been planning on that February visit. How the waiting was difficult, but at least I could begin to say we might see each other next month. I knew it was tentative, as almost everything is in the Army, but still my heart kept this hope alive for February. And there would be more days, more weeks, another month or two before we would be together.

As I tried to find strength somewhere within, this song came on the Christian radio station. I heard the beautiful lyrics and was reminded I am not alone. Even though Grant can't be here with me, the Lord has never left my side. Jesus, my greatest love, has seen me through dark nights before. He is the One who has loved me all my life, long before Grant and I knew each other. And so I rest in Him, knowing that His plan is best. I carry Grant's love in my heart, and allow my Savior's love to carry me.

My New Year's resolution this year is to have a patient heart. This is my fourth year in choosing a quality of heart to work on so I can be more like my Savior. A thankful heart in 2006, a hopeful heart in 2007, a joyful heart in 2008, and now a patient heart in 2009. It's definitely appropriate this year as I wait for Grant's safe return. Yet it's more than that. It's a quality I want to permeate my whole life. Instead of the rushing, multi-tasking, busy mentality of today, I want to seek quietness, patience, and purpose. Life is so beautiful when we take the time to truly live it.

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