Life Is Beautiful...

Yes, motherhood is tough stuff sometimes. Life is tough stuff sometimes. You all know I write about that stuff like an open book. But life and motherhood are good, too. They're beautiful. Full of sweet moments of joy, delight, gratitude and grace. Here are a few from this year so far...(warning: major photo dump of cute babies.)

Post bath cuddles

Crafting with my mini me

Going to her first Valentine's Day party

This little love's twinkling eyes and mischievous smile

Seeing them interact as siblings (and in their cute church clothes)

Breakfast in a tent!

Play-doh with Nana

Exploring and loving anything that has wheels!

For once, just sitting in this chair instead of
climbing up the back and arms and giving me a heart attack

The days (and nights!) can be long but years are going fast already and wow, is my heart full of love for these two.

30 before 30: A Bucket List in Retrospect

So that 30 before 30 thing? Where you list 30 things you want to do before you turn 30? I was all into the idea. I love bucket lists! But for the past year, every time I thought about it I couldn't come up with much! And here I am, freshly turned 30 this month!! (I know! Still getting used to this new decade myself... ;) )

 Since I didn't make a bucket list for the past year, I spent some time thinking on all the things I've already done before turning 30 and I had a great time coming up with this list! What a wild, wonderful life! Though I certainly struggled mightily at times during my single years, I'm so grateful I used much of that time for adventures as well. I see so much how God used my travels, my jobs, my relationships, and my experiences to mold me (and prune me) in ways that continue to help me even in this new vocation. Somehow I have a feeling the next 30 will be a little less crazy...then again, marriage and parenting are their own crazy adventures. ;)

1. Kayak in the Caribbean.
2. Get cornrow braids in Mexico.
3. Move out on your own.
4. Get your nursing license at a young age and be able to legally give narcotics before you can legally drink alcohol.
5. Become a CPR instructor.
6. Be a church youth leader for three years and have your heart begin to stretch by your love for the teens.
7. Go on a cruise.
8. Break an engagement and break your own heart as well. Hurt deeply. Find God deeper still and feel heart widen.
9. Drive a motorcycle.
10. Learn to water ski and wakeboard.
11. Swim in the ocean.
12. Hike the Rockies.
13. Hike the Smokies.
14. Shoot a gun with aim like Annie Oakley.
15. Get a convertible and realize your favorite thing in the summer is driving in the open air.
16. Go white water rafting in the moutains of Tennessee.
17. Cook over an open fire.
18. Fly alone to Paris...get lost in Paris...learn the metro system in Paris out of necessity and experience deeply that God is with you in your greatest fears.
19. Ride alone on a train through France to Lisieux and kneel in the convent where one of your favorite saints knelt. Pour your heart out with tears to a random nun who speaks broken English and then gives you a relic and some words of encouragement. Realize again that God is everywhere.
20. Visit a ranch in Texas and learn true virtue, patience, and hospitality from one of the greatest families you've ever met.
21. Perform ultrasounds on women considering abortion and watch their lives be changed by seeing their babies in their wombs. Cry with them. Walk with them. Love on them. And feel your own heart widen.
22. Be on a radio show
23. Go to a third world country and experience Mass on a rooftop.
24. Have your heart broken by an orphan baby boy you will never forget.
25. Have a spa day with Haitian women who were dying. Laugh with them. Rub lotion on them. And realize you're not so different from each other. Feel your heart widen, stretch, and break once again.
26. Fall in love. Oh, what a ride. The love that had mountaintops and valley lows. The love survived two breakups and vocation discernment and fear and grief and uncertainty. The love that grew despite it all.
27. Get married to the one you fell in love with.
28. Experience the hardest loss yet: the loss of your miscarried child. Feel the grace seep through all the broken cracks of your heart. Know that yes, it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. We will see you again, little one.
29. Get pregnant again and this time give birth naturally (oh, pain like you've never felt before!) to a daughter. A daughter. Oh, your heart is so full, so full.
30. Realize anew that God is so good, He uses everything we give Him (the good and the bad), His grace is everywhere...and life is beautiful.

Here's to the next 30 years, God willing!

Wisdom for Wednesdays

(So blessed to know several people who fit this description, and hoping to become one of them. Thanks again to Pinterest for the quote!)

Life is Beautiful...

-sitting with the choir members once again. So happy to be back with these dear people, my incredible uncle, and the beauty of music ministry.

-spending a night at my parents, eating popcorn and watching "The Middle." That show is too funny (and the middle child is way too much like me at that age! Braces on her teeth, nerdy, and dramatic!)

-laughing with each other at work when the stress levels start to rise.

-finding a bloom on the clematis vine during the month that my grandma died five years ago (one of her favorite flowers!)

-singing way too loud with A. and the radio on a late-night drive back from our Wisconsin trip.

-with the sentimental comfort and joy of a Christmas fiction novella.

-watching little nephew L. walk around with a grin on his face and my (knockoff) Ugg boots on his feet

-having a truly understanding sister-heart on the other end of the phone line when I needed someone to cry talk to.

-working out with my girlfriends on Monday nights, laughing and whining and sweating and talking all at the same time.

-remembering how rewarding it sometimes feels to get down on your hands and knees and mop a floor (but that feeling will last awhile; no desire to mop again anytime soon).

-beginning a new year in the Church as the Advent season arrives. Preparing, worshipping, believing, and hoping with the other members of the Body.

-counting the haves when I’m tempted to count the have-nots. Choosing to trust in the unseen and knowing that He sees all.

Life is Beautiful...

-on a bike ride down a country road, with deer grazing (do deer graze?) in a nearby field.

-watching Mary Tyler Moore episodes with my mom and a bowl of freshly-popped popcorn (in my Stir Crazy popper from a garage sale!).

-little moments with A. when her work shift was called off: baking and cooking and mopping and even cleaning out the garage.

-around a campfire on the lake with three treasured girlfriends, making s’mores and Smart Dogs (*ahem* they are much healthier. Do you know what real hot dogs have in them??)

-when others share from the abundance of their gardens and our countertop protests under piles of cucumber, yellow squash, and tomatoes.

-reading a fun Christian fiction book in bed, snuggled under polka-dot cotton sheets.

-chubby little nephew-arms reaching for a hug or a hold, and his adorable scrunched-up grin and giggle.

-taking advantage of a rare full-hour lunch break at work and gathering with the Cardiology girls at a Mexican restaurant next door.

-standing at the window watching an incredible lightning show in the night sky before a storm (God's fireworks! SO neat...just don't tell my mom, who always taught us to stay away from windows when there was lightning!)

-fishing with girlfriends and giggling as we tried to get the fish off the hooks (it takes a village three girls to get a hook out of a perch’s mouth).

-phone calls with my marmee when I’m in need of her wisdom and understanding and listening ear.

-dancing through the house because a hummingbird landed on my new feeder (it doesn’t take much to make me happy!)

-meeting new people, sharing in conversation, laughing with a stranger.

-a motorcycle ride with my dad, loving the freedom and sunshine and daddy-daughter time.

-during a calm, peaceful evening out on the deck, praying my rosary and star-gazing, drinking in the beauty of the night…until I saw a black-and-white creature waddle up to the deck—you’ve never seen such a sneaky, lightning-fast getaway as mine. (he was a cute little guy, but I wasn’t about to risk smelling like a skunk just so I could enjoy my evening outdoors!)

Life is beautiful. What a gift.

And for the cherries on top of these colorful sprinkles, two quotes:

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Brault

“I believe we would be happier to have a personal revolution in our individual lives and go back to simpler living and more direct thinking. It is the simple things of life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest, and living close to nature.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder

Life is Beautiful...

-on a sunny Sunday, lounging on the deck with my family.

-digging in the damp, rich earth, pulling weeds and planting tomato plants grown from seeds by a friend.

-sipping Dragon Pearl Jasmine iced tea with my roomie at our favorite coffee shop.

-making homemade strawberry jam for the first time...and then sampling it!

-wakeboarding behind the boat for the first time this season and conquering my utter terror hesitation.

-when my Micah runs to greet me with his expressive chocolate eyes and forever-wagging tail.

-being inspired by our new African priest, Father C., so vibrant with joy and love and passion for our Lord and His Church.

-being suprised by half a dozen deer meandering in the field behind our duplex, so calm and so graceful.

-trying out my oh-so-cool (or maybe not-so-much) dance moves on my brother's Xbox Kinect. (did I spell that right, gamers?)

-with breathtaking summer sunsets painted by a gracious God.

-rejoicing in the Easter season, celebrating the Ascension of our Lord, and looking ahead to the Feast of Pentecost next week.

-knowing the Holy Spirit still descends upon us, reaching deep into our hearts, our minds, our souls...convicting, stirring, embracing, and filling us with such grace and joy if we let Him in.

Life is beautiful...

-singing along with a catchy pop song while washing dishes.

-after an hour-long phone call with a dear friend.

-when I felt the gentle conviction of the Gospel reading of the Beatitudes at Mass on Sunday…just when I was struggling with comparing myself to others who seemed to have it all—on the outside.

-when my roomie and I stayed up late talking and drinking our Trader Joe’s Sipping Chocolate in coconut milk.

-when a friendly peaches-and-cream kitty trotted up to me as I stood by my car on a clear, cool night.

-with the warmth and sense of belonging I feel in my choir family and my church family.

-when my voice teacher encouraged me to look into becoming a Disney World singer—I mean, who wouldn’t want to dress up like a princess and sing Disney songs for a job?

-when an employee at JoAnn’s helped me pick out fabric, reminding me of the importance and beauty of the human connection in a world with ATMs and self-checkouts.

-with the little, unexpected things my parents do for me…and the realization of how much I love and treasure them.

-after a long day of errands and grocery shopping, thankful I have the money to pay for them.

-listening to the Christian radio station…the uplifting conversations as well as the songs.

-knowing that the little moments do matter, perhaps more than the big moments. That even when I’m unsure of the big picture, I can focus on these little moments and remember that in "the abyss of eternity...nothing is lost" (St. Maria Faustina).

-and finally, I have to say life is quite beautiful with a handful of crunchy almonds and 90% dark chocolate chunks. :)

Life is Beautiful...

-when I wake up to a world of sparkly snow and sunshine.

-with a cup of Hot Cinnamon Spice tea in a cute snowman mug.

-as my WoodWick candle crackles and sparkles in the quiet of the evening.

-on a walk through the neighborhood, breathing the fresh, cool air.

-when spending time with my family and my uncle’s family playing the crazy Xbox Kinect.

-with the infectious laughter and mirth of the choir members at our post-Christmas party.

-at the nursing home Mass when Fr. Todd spoke of how the little things do matter—the prayers of these residents can be powerful and serve a great purpose.

-when the elderly woman in front of me held her husband’s hand, sitting close to his wheelchair and assisting him.

-when a dear online friend reached out to me, sharing her heart to encourage my own.

-when a new year stretches ahead, a gift unopened of time and opportunity, with the promise of grace, hope, and mercy because of God’s presence.

Life is beautiful...

- when the leaves crunch under my feet after a refreshing stroll.

- when I enjoy a homemade breakfast of pumpkin oatmeal during my favorite cooking show, Rachael Ray.

- when Father Todd reaches out a hand to the residents at the nursing home Mass today, one by one, calling them by name, looking so very much like the Jesus in the Gospels.

- when a hug and a kiss from my voice teacher convey her empathy as we both continue our journeys in the midst of struggle.

- when a woman at the soup kitchen today says she doesn't mind what I serve her, that she's just grateful for whatever we give her.

- when two others from the soup kitchen chat with me and another worker, bridging the gap between those serving and those being served.

- when I am able to cast my votes today, to be a part, however small, in bringing our beloved country back to the morals and values it was founded on.

- when my brother lays a comforting hand on my shoulder, silently showing his care amd reminding me of the amazing bond of family.

- when the sun falls just behind the trees at eventide, melting into the horizon and leaving a golden glow that warms my soul.

-when we realize that all the good and beauty and wonder in this life is but a reflection of the One who created it all, and that He wants to be in an intimate relationship with us, now and forever.

Life is Beautiful When...

-a patient in cardiology brings surprise lilies for the nurses

-my co-worker and friend finds out her melanoma surgery was successful

-my twin brothers celebrate their 19th birthday (my baby bros are growing up!)

-my family laughs during a Scattergories game

-I take a convertible ride with my Micah in the passenger seat

-God works in my heart and reminds me once again of His unconditional love

-I see the workings of the Spirit in my teens at church

And finally, life is oh-so-beautiful when...

-I'm leaving tomorrow for the Army base to meet my man on his return from Iraq!!!

Little Thoughts

Life is beautiful…

-when the sun smiles down as I walk barefoot through the grass.

-when the smell of baking bread floats from the oven.

-when I cherish the moment and enjoy a bike ride with my family.

-when a call from my man in Iraq brightens my day and warms my heart.

-when we both get excited about the countdown until his homecoming.

-when I realize that once again I need to focus on my Jesus so that I can walk on water instead of sinking below the waves of life.

-when “the peace of God, which passes all understanding” is within my heart.

-when I understand that trials are a part of life and they do not necessarily mean we have wandered outside of God’s path for us, but that He is right beside us bringing good from the difficulties.

-when I see that life, rather than being a fearful unknown, is a joyful adventure.